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Their Kitchen Is So Great, You Can Eat Off The Floor…Literally

As a kid, I was always confused when my mom — as moms are wont to do — told me she wanted the floors “so clean you could eat off of them” when it came time to do chores.

In my 10-year-old brain, that seemed like a really, really stupid thing to do, since kitchen tables are things and all. In fact, the dog didn’t even eat off the floor. I didn’t want to eat off the floor. That’s crazy, and I prided myself on not being crazy. (My 24-year-old relationship with craziness, however, isn’t quite as secure.)

And I’m just going to go ahead and assume that these guys heard that once or twice from their moms as kids, because when they came across a pile of floorboards in a dumpster, they took the world’s sassiest approach to this classic demand. By essentially turning the floor into a kitchen table, they made mom’s cleaning dreams come true.

When crafter 2times30 came across these discarded floorboards, he took them home knowing that he could turn them into something great.

“You want to eat off the floor, Mom? Then I’ll make a table out of it,” said this guy, probably. First, he laid out the boards and figured out where he needed to trim them.

"You want to eat off the floor, Mom? Then I'll make a table out of it," said this guy, probably. First, he laid out the boards and figured out where he needed to trim them.

Imgur / 2times30

Once that was taken care of, he and his friend nailed them to some plywood for stability.

After clamping them all together, they sealed every fifth board with wood glue.

Sanding came next.

This is a thing of beauty, friends.

For a more refined look, he then added walnut strips around the edges and clamped that ish up.

Last but not least, he slapped on some metal legs and called it a day.

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, MOTHER.

There are clearly some deep-seated issues at play here.

For full instructions, check out 2times30’s original post!

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