Grab some tissues and strap in. All of your dreams are about to come true in the most delicious way.
At some point in your life, you stop believing in magic. You learn Santa shops at the mall and looks suspiciously like your parents. You find out the Keebler Elves don’t really make your cookies. Then you have to start paying rent. Is there anything less magical than rent? The cakes that contain no eggs. It is simple and unassuming. It is delicious without being pretentious. This article contains a story, the recipe and what it’s memory symbolizes to me. When I was a little girl, my family lived on a small farm South of Belen, New Mexico. There were a number of years during my childhood that money was scarce. My parents had to make do with what we had, which was milk, milk products and meat from the cattle, eggs from the chickens and produce from the garden. So, we always had food to eat, even though we never had “store-bought” delicacies on the table. One of the treats I most remember my mom making was the Two-Egg Cake. The ingredients included eggs, milk and butter, which we always had, and it could be whipped up and ready in just about 30 minutes. One particular time I remember the cake had just come out of the oven and a bunch of teenagers showed up at the door and asked if we could give them something to eat. We had a picnic table and benches my dad had made outside in the yard. My mom asked them to sit down at the table and took the cake and a gallon of milk and offered it to them. The kids devoured every morsel of cake and drop of milk, thanked my mom and continued down the road. One of the cake varieties everyone enjoyed while growing up was strawberry cake. This is generally a chiffon cake that has a strawberry cream filling that is filled with juicy fresh strawberries. The ingredient that makes it creamy is the milk. Sugar and eggs are also added to contribute to its fluffiness as well as taste. Some bakers like to caramelize the fresh strawberries first before adding them. This gives them added flavor and texture. The chiffon cakes used can either be the traditional vanilla or strawberry flavored. For the latter, strawberry gelatin is mixed into the chiffon batter to give it a hint of strawberry taste. This flavoring makes the cake pinkish in color. This can also be used when making the cake’s icing. Its darker pink appearance makes for a very attractive presentation while at the same time giving it more color dimension. Some bakers forego the use of the strawberry flavoring in the icing. Instead they opt to use a pink food coloring. Using this will not give the icing the strawberry flavor similar to the chiffon cake it covers. A strawberry cake is one for all occasions. It is versatile enough to be used for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, graduation and the like. It does not taste too sweet that’s why it can be used for these occasions. For regular days, you can serve it for dessert or during afternoon tea. Generally, a traditional strawberry cake will have the following basic ingredients: two cups of white sugar, gelatin that is strawberry flavored, one cup of butter, four pieces of eggs, cake flour, baking powder, milk, one tablespoon of vanilla extract and one half cup of strawberry puree that is made from fresh strawberries. These are the reasons why a cake like this is best eaten when chilled.
But once in a great while, something comes along so spectacular that your inner child starts bouncing around in your ribcage, reigniting the magic in your soul. You remember how cool dinosaurs are. You regain hope that you still have secret superpowers you just don’t know about yet. The food mastery you are about to witness is one such event. It might be as close as we ever get to a miracle…or a heart attack that’s equal parts cholesterol and excitement. Either way, it’s unforgettable.
Layer one is a deep-dish pizza from Domino’s. But we’re just getting started.
Layer two is comprised of chicken nuggets, the building blocks of joy.
The nugget halo makes a well for some McDonald’s fries and renewed faith in the human spirit.
That’s another pizza. Is anyone else getting emotional?
If you weren’t tearing up before, you will be after you see this layer of double cheeseburgers.
Marvel at yet another pizza. Let the shock and awe wash over you.
This next layer is not for the faint of heart. It’s about 36,000 pieces of fried chicken that are floating on a sea of cheese like artery-clogging synchronized swimmers.
In this final layer, we introduce mashed potatoes and gravy. Yeah, gravy. It’s a great time to be alive.
Add candles to uphold birthday tradition, but know in your heart that there is nothing the birthday boy could wish for that would ever top this masterpiece.
This kind of pure, unadulterated joy only comes but a few times in life, and that’s if we’re lucky.
The person who made this will never have to go through life with the sinking feeling that they never accomplished anything of monumental importance.
They’ll know that they achieved true greatness.
Let’s just hope this cake came with the number for a good cardiologist.
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