Listen. I know a thing or two when it comes to being useless.
Whether I’m staring blankly at a football game while my dad tries to explain what the hell is going on, trying and failing to help my boyfriend build our IKEA furniture, or really missing the mark when it comes to doing anything on weekends that doesn’t involve sweatpants and not brushing my hair, I’m a pro when it comes to uselessness.
But the people behind these monstrosities are far more skilled than I am. You see, when it comes to all form and no function, these folks have it down to a science. Here are 23 of the most useless items ever created because who needs faith in their fellow man, anyway?
1. This sign that would’ve saved Shel Silverstein a lot of time.