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Some Psychologists Say You Should Stop Telling Kids 'No' — Here's Why


Kids hear the word “no” a million times a day.

Children are still learning how to interact with the world, and as such, there are some things that they can’t or shouldn’t do. Naturally, we tell them “no,” but now, some child psychologists and behaviorists warn that kids who hear the word too often can develop a negative outlook.

However, this doesn’t mean that children should be allowed to run wild. Here are some tips from experts that you can use to foster positive parenting interactions with your child.

1. Use positive terms to respond to questions.

Use positive terms to respond to questions.

Flickr / Quinn Dombrowski

Phrase responses so that you’re telling children what they can do instead of what they can’t do. Say that they can play later or have one cookie instead of giving them an outright “no.”

2. Talk about what you’re feeling.

Instead of just saying “stop” or “no,” explain why you don’t like something in age-appropriate terms. Tell them that it hurts when they hit you or that the noise they’re making affects your concentration. This kind of dialogue helps develop kids’ empathy for others.

3. Give kids a choice between two things that they can do.

Instead of saying, “No bouncing the ball in the house,” provide a choice between two other locations. “You can bounce the ball in the backyard or in the driveway. Which would you like?” This often stops kids from responding in a rebellious way.

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